When we hear the saying “love is blind,” we often brush it off because we’ve heard it over a thousand times already. The core problem here is that we accept this saying and overly romanticize it. This allows the existence of toxic relationships because it provides an excuse for stagnancy.
Love, in all of its forms, should be nurturing and a catalyst for an individual’s growth. Saying that love is blind means that you are willing to look past someone or something’s flaws. However, the case should be that loving something or someone entails your willingness not to overlook their flaws, but rather to see it, accept it, and if possible helping them change it.
Identifying imperfections is key for growth and improvement – this is something that a lot of us tend to skip. In a world where we constantly run after the idea of “perfection,” we cling onto our own lies, ultimately deceiving ourselves that we’re already living the perfect life despite the big room for improvement that is in front of us.
So, here’s four steps for you to identify what is toxic in your life:
1.) Take a step back – Taking a step back doesn’t necessarily mean that you have to pull away from your loved ones or whatever it is that you hold dear to you. It simply means that you have to see things from a different perspective.
Often times, toxicity starts growing in the places that you’re not looking at. When you have your head too close to something trying to look at it, you might not be aware of how that thing could already have bad juju growing on its side.
Think of it like this, you face the mirror and stare at yourself. You focus on your eyes and your eyes only. This takes away the chances of you noticing that you probably have acne or that there’s a smudge somewhere on your face.
Same with life, you need to look at the bigger picture so you can see if there’s something wrong.
2.) Listen to your body – This can work wonders for you. Your body is a great tool in identifying what’s toxic in your life.
Haven’t you noticed how your body feels really heavy after having a heavy argument with your spouse? Or after you’ve heard that one of your closest friends has been gossiping about you behind your back?
Well, that’s because the body is directly correlated with the mind. When the mind is under a lot of stress, the body is also heavily affected by it.
The saying “mind over matter” is very powerful and it can always go both ways. In this case, when you listen to your body, you’d also be able to track what’s toxic in your life.
3.) Meditate for sound logic – Meditation is crucial in order for you to accurately identify the source of toxicity in your life. Decisions are difficult to make when you are heavily burdened with emotion.
If that is the case, the decisions you make may not be the soundest ones. When you practice providing yourself an avenue for you to be alone with your own mind, you become more aware of who you are and who you think you are.
Meditation also enables you to detach yourself from your emotional side and gives you the ability to see things clearer. This allows you to make decisions that are unbiased and logical.
Sound logic brought upon by meditation also lets you identify what’s toxic in your life more accurately.
4.) Differentiate toxicity from mistakes – There is a huge difference between who or what’s toxic and people who simply make mistakes or things that simply happen out of your control.
However, there’s also a fine line between them that leads people into mistaking one for the other. For example, there are people who choose to stay in abusive relationships because they justify it by saying “Oh, he/she really loves me. He just made a mistake.”
A mistake is only done once (maybe twice).
So, when your partner continues to abuse you, ask yourself, “Is he/she toxic? Or did he/she just make a mistake” Learning to distinguish toxicity from mistakes will save you from making the decision of cutting out someone very important from your life who clearly just made a mistake.
Identifying what’s toxic in our life is just the beginning of the journey of curing your life from it. From now on, stop saying that love is blind. Instead, say “love is the cure.”
Now, take your first step towards healing.